“I’m not one of those people who is driven by money”
I’ve said this myself in the past, and do you know how often I hear this from the women I coach? What I find interesting is that the women who tell me this have nothing in common with each other with regards to their financial reality. Some of these women are earning high six figure incomes, while others are making a small fraction of that. Some women have financial assets and “resources” such as real estate or high earning husbands, while others have very little. And there is absolutely zero correlation between their actual financial status and whether or not they feel financially comfortable and/or confident.
I don’t think that we need to go too far deconstructing society to understand why women often feel the need to clarify this. Women “wanting” money is still subtly frowned upon. Women are supposed to be driven primarily by more “pure” motives like wanting to help others and wanting to do a great job. One of my clients literally told me that she had to save money because she wants to do good in the world and so she would most likely be poor. The archetype of the greedy cold-hearted woman who wants all of the money and none of the love seems to be alive and well somewhere deep in our subconscious. Feminism needs to catch up on this one.
Here’s the thing. I believe my clients. I believe that my clients who say that they are not driven by money are motivated by other factors such as helping others, doing a great job, building things, corporate or entrepreneurial goals… all of that stuff. But because they simultaneously acknowledge that they need to earn money, they must be driven to some extent by avoiding a complete lack of money. Striving to avoid a lack of money is going to set the bar lower than striving to build financial freedom, no matter how you define financial freedom.
I’ve noticed that women are often comfortable thinking any of the following:
- they don’t have enough money
- they could use more money
- more money would make things easier and much more convenient
- more money would relieve stress
- if they had a lot of money they could do great things with it
But those do not naturally translate into deciding that they want to go after it. Why is it okay to feel like you don’t have enough of it, but not okay to be driven by wanting more of it? It’s almost like women are allowed to wish for money but not strive for it.
What if we all decided that money is not “good” or “bad” but simply a tool that we can both earn and spend? What if we could choose to focus making more of it at any point, for any reason? What if women, as a whole, decided that wanting to make money is no longer taboo but the new normal? Think about this, right now the bulk of wealth belongs to the people who are primarily driven by money. I would prefer people like my clients (or maybe just my clients) have all of the money and power because I know the world would be a better place.
So I am learning to love money and not vilify it. I’m learning to love making money (as it is an important part of my business). Now a lot of what excites me about this is what has driven me in the past, such as thinking about how much I can help people with my business, how I will spoil people I love, and how many dogs I can rescue, but now I am consciously tying it to making money. I’ve noticed that this change in thoughts and feelings about money has translated so clearly into results, and my clients have had the same experience as they tackle their money stories.
See the slate tablet with the money symbol? I actually place that around the house to remind me that money can be great, fun to earn, and so very practical.
Coaching is so weird sometimes.
Anything resonating here? The next round of the coaching group starts soon, get in touch if you want to find out more. Happy to chat and help you figure out if you’re the type of person who would get something out of it.
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