“Life Coaching” is a weird concept and a lot of people don’t get what it actually does. I have yet to hear anyone give a one or two sentence explanation of it that doesn’t sound like either fluff or fiction.
Here is my current theory as to why it seems weird at first:
We are brought up with the assumption that if you know what to do, you should just do it, and you will just do it.
Do you operate like this? I have yet to meet someone who lives like this every day, but I have met a TON of people who beat themselves up every day for not living like this.
When people began getting coaches for things other than working out, I’m pretty sure I scoffed a little in my in my head. On the one hand I believed that I could use my brains and willpower to do anything that a coach could do for me. On the other hand, I assumed that the people who were thriving with coaches were the people who had it completely together and had already done everything they knew they needed to do. So I assumed that there was no point in getting a coach until I got it all together. Why would I need a coach? I knew exactly what I needed to do to improve my life, and I just needed to do it.
The Unbeatable Cycle
I told myself:
I just need to get serious about this.
I just need to figure out exactly what I want.
I just need to prioritize better.
I just need to get organized.
I just need to be consistent and disciplined.
I just need to do that stuff from the podcast.
I just need to stop procrastinating.
I just need to stop doing all of my bad habits.
I just need to start all of the great habits.
I just need to have those difficult conversations.
I just need to do that scary stuff.
I just need to not be as busy.
I just need to not be as tired.
I just need to stop thinking those things.
I just need to get out of this current situation.
I just need to change a whole lot of things.
I just need to be better in every way.
But the thing is, knowing you need to do something (or 100 things) and actually doing them are two completely different things (fun science fact, did you know that human brains are engineered to be better at planning than at execution?). Furthermore, people are complicated and unique, and doing what you should do isn’t a question of finding the right productivity app or motivational quote. In trying to do everything that I needed to do, more than once I was caught in cycle of saying to myself “This time I will do it, I just need to try harder / have more willpower / be consistent…” .
So many of us are caught in this cycle of trying harder to try and trying to try harder in some aspect of our lives, and half the time we can’t even see that we are doing this.
The Life Coach Touch Points
This is where having a coach changed everything for me and helped me break out of a cycle I didn’t even know I was in.
Having successfully coached many women to great results, and having a coach myself, a pattern has revealed itself. The following are the three overarching areas that a life coach will work on with you, and I’ve found that this applies to the big things and the little things in equal measure:
- Help you get out of your head, set direction and intention based on how you want to live your life and who you want to be.
- Train you to consistently better question your thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions, both about yourself and about everything outside yourself
- Enable you to better understand and manipulate your own personal operating system in order to strengthen the alignment between what you want, and what you habitually do
Of course there are methods, tools, and models, but without getting into the weeds, it’s these three things that consistently create big results to make people’s lives better (often better in unexpected ways as well as the sought after successes). And I get really excited about helping women make their lives better. I love knowing that my clients are getting more of the results they are seeking by doing things differently, and without exhausting themselves by trying harder or doing more.
Now does someone have a way of summarizing this in a sentence or two that I could use?
*Disclaimer of course not everyone needs a coach, wants a coach, or work well with a coach. I had successes on many fronts before I had a coach.
**Some of my best friends don’t have coaches
Anything resonating here? The next round of the coaching group starts soon (added flexibility for summer craziness), get in touch if you want to find out more. Happy to chat and help you figure out if you’re the type of person who would get something out of it.
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