99 Problems
Being bored with your problems is more common than you would think. One thing I’m bored of is being subjected to shiny haired people on Instagram telling me that I could be living a utopic dream life. Let’s get real, even the coaches who get their clients the very best results, aren’t able to lead them to a life without problems. But it is possible to replace your boring problems with some shiny new interesting ones!
Boring Problem Categories
If you are bored with your problems you either have a “Repeat Problem” or a “Stuck Problem”.
The Repeat Problem is when you repeatedly find yourself with the same problem. Examples of this could include being inconsistent with fitness and getting in and out of shape, finding yourself in a cycle of getting in debt and then paying it off, or even recreating negative personal dynamics with different people or in different places.
Problem repeaters often get stuck in the trap of using the same approaches, telling themselves “this worked last time I had this problem” while failing to remember that whatever worked the last time clearly did not create a permanent fix. Many years ago my mother proclaimed that she was great at quitting smoking because she had done it many times. She was too close to the situation to realize that her way might not be the best because to be great at quitting smoking you would only need to do it once (she has long since quit forever, please don’t tell her that this was in here).
The Stuck Problem is when you’ve had one problem for too long. Examples of this could include being uninspired or downright miserable in your job or feeling unsatisfied with your work/life balance but not being able to change this.
Those who are stuck with a problem for a long time are often unconscious masters at coming up with reasons why this problem lingers. Typical reasons are:
- No time right now
- Need more money
- No energy
- No opportunities
- Need more information
- Don’t know how to fix it
- Tried to fix it but it didn’t work
- People are dicks…
Are You Just Aiming to Escape and be Okay?
People who are bored with their problems usually have one thing in common: They spend more time thinking about the problem and escaping the problem than they do thinking about what life could be and would be beyond this problem.
So what?
If you’ve had a problem it is familiar. Your subconscious interprets familiar as safe, and it thinks that safety is good. If fact, it thinks safe is good EVEN when it is extremely unpleasant and causes anxiety and stress. Your subconscious can be a really bad decision-maker, it won’t push you to get beyond the problem.
If you think beyond the problem (I call this The Other Side of Okay), your subconscious can start being driven by different emotions, such as desire. To put this in practical terms using some of the examples above, what would your life be like if you were always as in shape as you want to be, you stopped the financial roller coaster, you landed a great new job, you mastered work-life balance. What if you did have enough time, money, opportunity…
These thoughts are going to instigate creativity and imagination, necessary ingredients in making shiny new problems. I challenge you to think about what your life could be on the other side of this problem.
Feeling Stuck or Too Busy for Change?
This is why you will get value from a free consult:
- It will give you a moment to get out of your own head and look at your situation more objectively
- We will explore what you want to change
- I will show you the root of the problem
- I will give you the outline of how to make the changes you want
- From a place of knowlege and possibility you can determine the value of coaching at this point in your life
- If you decide coaching would be of value right now, you will be able to assess whether you think you and I are a good fit (and if we aren’t I can refer you to some great people)
- It’s a relaxed conversation
What’s So Great About This Boring Problem?
What are you getting out of not solving this boring problem? Have you asked yourself how you are benefitting from your problems? You must be getting something out of it. Here are some common benefits:
Validation: If you complain about a situation but then you overcome it, it might mean that you were wrong about it the whole time.
Avoidance & Denial: It’s amazing what we will do to avoid uncomfortable emotions such as doubt and uncertainty (amongst others).
Easy – Keep Doing What You Are Doing: It’s almost always the easiest way, and it’s usually much harder to change than we give it credit for.
Are you Bored Enough of the Problem to Fix It?
Sometimes the second you realize that you are bored with a problem you can jump into action, but sometimes it takes a while. I spent 20 years saying “I should go to bed earlier, tonight I will go to bed at a reasonable time”. It took me that long to get bored enough of tired mornings and actually try some approaches other than caffeine and empty promises.
No matter how big, or how bored you are of the problem, if you decide it’s time to do something, you can. It might not be fast and it may require effort, but I urge you to do it.
You deserve big shiny new problems.
Next time fix them before you get bored!
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